this is close to me

X’TRA MARITAL AFFAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!

My best friend was a married man. We were still best of friends. I could talk to him about anything from books and art to Newton and philosophy. Our topics of discussion were never limited. It had a ‘flightless boundary’ and I was proud of it. Mr. Saranik was all I could ask for in a friend. Perfect I would call him. I met him when I first came to my newly built house. Among the other strange faces that looked on my family and me those warm caring eyes stood out certainly… distinct.
I first spoke to him when we were on the first floor. If you ask him he would probably give you all the dates and timings without any doubt. “All that you say is beautiful, you are my source of my inspiration also….” he used to say. From telling him that I saw a butterfly flying to hey have you read this book? Everything was beautiful or so he said and so I thought. I was always elated at all the generous outpouring compliments he showered on me almost everyday. I was myself with him; there was no need of any masks or portrayal, probably the prime reason why I came so close to him. My family however knew I needed one friend and they were happy it was him. He was considered to be this icon of knowledge, ideas. I always looked on him with awe.... The way he mingled with others and what he spoke and why he said some stuff to me and not to others... well that was him. I remember all the song dedications and the books he recommended he was such a source of knowledge. I never even needed to ask for anything it was said even before I said anything; He helped out with grammar and maths. I was really proud that I had the best of friends. Things ran smoothly for some time………
Well it started when one day I heard someone commenting on the way I talk to him. At first I ignored thinking what the heck it’s my life and I know what I’m doing. Whispers soon began to become sentences and little did I know that I was the topic of every discussion in the flat. Mr. Saranik said he couldn’t be bothered and hence I kept quiet for a while. By this time our friendship had become very strong and I really depended on him emotionally. Aindrilla, his wife was very sweet and understanding we were like one family. He came to our house and no one thought anything. But these conversations never had any effect on our families but not for long!!!!!!!!
I still remember the walk I took with him when we had our three-day long power cut. The amount and the truth I learnt during those 30 minutes are probably what I still think of life. There is no one hand clapping that was also one very important thing I learnt that day. “Archana, you will face a lot of hurdles because of the naïve person that you are. I seriously think you should be a little more assertive and also FIRM what ever you do.” Then one day his wife screamed at him and accused him of going beyond the lines of marriage, she was very upset and she wouldn’t even talk to me. I became a victim of something I was never a part of consciously (I swear)



“Extra marital affair” it was termed as. I hated that word and still do. I thought extra marital affairs were only on a physical level but maybe I was wrong. Looking back on what went on in her life, how insecure she was, another woman coming into his life, just as a friend, was enough for our relationship o be termed as that phrase I despise and loathe now. As in maybe, I was absolutely wrong…. Well he came up to me one day and told me how much he loved me, and what I meant to him and professed his undying love for me. He also said that he would go to any extent to preserve this relationship he shared with me.
Well I was shocked I cannot express myself very clearly because even today when I think of those moments I feel very insecure and I feel like I was taken for a ride in the name of friendship. At first I blanked out, I could see my worst nightmare coming true in front of my eyes. What the hell I thought, what relationship was he talking about what did undying love mean to him? Were they not the same things he had said he had told his wife? I soon came back to my senses and took the strongest and most difficult decision of my life. I terminated ‘our’ friendship (It’s a different matter that only I had termed our relationship that). He was not worth it I consoled myself. It really took me a long time to get over him and the friendship I was forced to abandon because of a greater cause. But now I’m proud of myself thinking of what could have happened if I had held back that day and if I had still kept in touch with him…. I still keep in touch but on a very formal basis. Maybe people will not understand why. Its because he accepted it was a mistake, a grave one too. And as usual I forgave him. And that’s the end of that chapter. I still think I’m the cause of a major diversion and also misunderstanding in their family.
Probably that’s the reason why I can never talk freely to guys when all my friends do. Why I still feel that a guy and a girl can never be just friends… I hate to talk to guys who have girl friends, people never understand what I’m going through they feel I’m a prude and a hypocrite but one day they will…. Or maybe one day I’ll stop generalising and start feeling once again and stop holding myself responsible for everything but I know that it will take time. I just hope it stops taking its toll on me.
Extramarital relationships are a very common phenomenon today. Three-fourths of the world today has families ruined because of the turmoil in them due to the existence of a third person. Why should people not be content with their married lives? When will people be satisfied and stop looking for others to keep them happy? Why can’t people compromise and isn’t marriage all about giving and taking? Well all these rhetorical questions can be pondered and answered by us. That’s why counsellors are making so much of money, as this is also the reason for the increasing hypertension world-wide. Couples should be more understanding and there should be no room or space left for any third person.




Some blame it on work the others say they were forced into marriages and more often the answer is” my marriage is boring and there is no spice left in it” I ask who is responsible for all this? Why can’t they themselves resolve it since they are the ones who started it in the first place? For me marriage is for keeps. I cannot imagine my married life getting ruined. A husband and wife have to work as a pair like a close unit to keep it going. They have to season it with all the spices and also add water or sweet to reduce the spice. The fire has to be simmering if the need arises and the flame has to be on continuously for the dish or marriage to be cooked well… to be relished while eating it. Some like it bland and some like it garnished. Well the choice is personal but how well they juggle between the ingredients is what makes the whole situation and the dish so very special. How can they let something bitter fall into the dish they are so skilfully labouring at and even if it falls despite all the precautions I think it depends on one’s own understanding, emotional balance presence of mind and taste how he or she would handle the situation. The end result has to be good. This should be the chief aim. And I’m sure each of us is an expert in cooking or managing things ourselves.
Well this experience has certainly helped me grow. I can now handle difficult experiences without many hassles. I can look at things more objectively and I have also learnt not to blame myself unnecessarily without analysing things well.