Friday, October 21, 2005

do u think this way?

The word live- in -relationships conjures up a world of freedom and no bondage to many. But are people really happy in such a relationship? Don't you think it is more of an escapist attitude for people who like to shirk of responsibilities? And for them the best possible mode of freedom would be to enjoy all the marital bliss without actually having been in one. All they want is the excitement. And do not want any threads attached to their life thereby giving themselves an easy access to walk out of the relationship any time they want or when they find it inconvenient.
Nowadays this concept is gaining momentum as couples consider marriage as too much of a burden and wish to break free. Well what they conveniently forget is that marriage provides the safety and the bond that is imperative. Imagine you having a row and your partner just dumping you! Where do you go? Whom do you turn to? And supposing you are unemployed then what do you do? You cannot even claim alimony!
Life does not end here… it just begins. You have the whole society shunning you, calling you names which you never even dreamt of and then quoting and portraying you as a bad example of some one and something you would never get into. I don't think any sane person would get into a relationship just to enjoy and with no afterthoughts. Also couples conveniently forget that they are living in a society that does not encourage these acts, so imagine the backlashes and repercussions of it. We must always remember that we are a part of this society and that this kind of momentary bliss will not last for long.
What most of the couples also forget is that marriage gives you the legality to give birth to children but in a live in relationship if you have children then who takes the responsibility once you leave? And whose name does the child get? Also what is the child's identity as an individual? Isn't he answerable to his peers and the society? Well these are the very points that shake the base of this concept. Activists have drilled couples on these are as for some years now but no one till date has given any convincing answer. Well if you are the types who do not want to have children and don't like any commitments then this kind of a relationship is perhaps an answer for you. But the question remains will one be happy in such a flexible relationship? What if your partner wants to sleep with someone else while you are around? On what grounds are you going to stop him? Aren't all those grounds also you are quoting flimsy?
Well whatever the reason I feel one should be very careful and should be mature enough before they make any commitment. They should rationalise and work out their marriage before they delve into one. They should also decide to what extent they want to carry on this relationship. Because in the end they have no one to blame but themselves. And they must strictly remember that they have made an informed choice and they should have the guts to abide by it!

6 comments:

Subramanian Ramachandran said...

archana..enna oreyadiya serious aayiteenga...... cool down cool down...... expecting a lighter post from you the next time , sariya

dont get disturbed too much by things happening around u..what i feel is "live-in" and homo-sexual are still at a lesser percentage in india and of course again it getd down to the individuals....... we cant comment in a broader sense is my humble opinion.

navin said...

cool post...posts like these will get my attention...I don't know why I am having difference of opinion with rsubras everytime :)... I don't know about the homo-sexuals since I think there is something technically wrong there...As long as they don't disturb me, I am fine with them..really I don't have something against any homo-sexual person since they look like a different species to me...Call me not being rational, but the theory is this...when 90 pecent of the world (humans and animals included)..lies in the scientific principles of opposites attracting...why do some dangerous minds think the other way...coming back to your blog...I read some articles on live-in relations...esp in India when it came to the kid or family being against it...they either got married or seperated...After all what kind of society are we living in when people are not bothered about one night stands (including the one where one goes to a prostitute)...I am comparing it to that...because the whole principle behind it is the same...one is free and the other is not. So, as described...a live-in relation in India will certainly lead to a marriage or a break-up. Like how a marriage ends...so why treat it differently?...Is it not the same? Inside us we know that we love the other person...living-in or marriage is gonna make a difference?...The whole principle of marriage is living in one roof. the break-up in a live-in relation does not have the legal complications of a divorce...some people use it for their own selfisheness...most people who live in are either rich or educated too much that they want to prove that it can be done...living in they should also recognize that they also live out...there is a whole world out for which they have to answer, whether they like it or not...A child's identity also gets spoiled in a divorce...just because it is done legally, the society accepts it....If people are bold enough to face it then they can live in...if at some point they want to turn off and run(which they mostly do)...or accept that the concept they started is wrong then they get married. regarding the partner wanting to to sleep with someone else...that is a total different question...there is morality which stops you from it, It is a form of adultery if you see it. maybe that would answer the Q

Anonymous said...

sorry to write stories as comments...anyway added u in my blogroll...

Anonymous said...

good one...totally agree

Niranjan said...

If U R true Archana, I am Ur Niranjan, pl come & meet me, I am fond of U

Anonymous said...

Who is true Archana that we have to confirm from Railway Administration and from CBI department of India.