Marriage or Mar your age… And Mar what all else?

How do know when it is right for you? Who is right for you? Are you marrying the guy or is it the same conventional package deal- you marry his family? What all do you compromise on or lets just say SACRIFICE? Now doesn’t that sound more real? IS your man going to be worst nightmare that haunts you daily? What happens to you? Your ideas, your views, you? Your identity, your maiden name, your individuality.
They say life is a gamble I say marriage is. The above mentioned thoughts may just be a few nerve wracking pointers to what marriage can be…but then there are loads more I want to talk about.
Parents want their children to marry that all. And children agree for lack of choice. There lies the first mistake. Ask yourself is marriage inevitable? Necessary? What does it give you? Why do u suddenly need it only after you turn 20? Where u not alone until now?
Parents emotionally blackmail (EB) as in would term it into marrying. On the stakes are grandchildren, them dying, aging, your happiness etc etc…the list can just go on and on.
Ask yourself aren’t you happy now? Do u have to marry to be happy? And is happiness a guarantee after marriage? Who assures this? Ok let me clear one thing am not against marriage but am not for all that it demands…
The do’s and don’ts are almost killing. You lose whatever you stood for in life. I’ve made a list of what I was before and believe me I don’t see myself anymore at all. This is not me that’s all my conscience screams!!! You have to be what is expected of you whether or not you want to…and this is the hypocrisy am opposed to.
Marriage has lost its meaning in today’s world.
In life we never do things which are bad for us the why do we in marriage? Does an individual never have to heed to what his heart has to say? Why do we have to change? Isn’t marriage about accepting the person for who they are? One can have expectations but there has to be a limit somewhere…

If marriage is about companionship then companionship only comes when you can be accepted for who you are and not the changed you according to his likes…that is taking away from you an individual what she has been till date…then there is no companionship…it just becomes slave driving because you want and she gives. Whether she wants to and whether she likes…

If marriage is about love then where does love happen when all the person is expected to do is comply with what you and your family wants? This totally negates her wants and kills inner happiness then forget about love.

If marriage is about happiness how does she feel happy if all she does is sacrifice, compromise, keep others happy, all after choking her desires and wants?

If marriage does not give you any of this then why have this institution at all? Isn’t love important than marriage? You can’t start liking someone because you are married to him because then its compromising and this should never be done. You sho0uld love only when you feel this. Why can’t couples have more time to feel loved rather than jump into something and force emotions because the relationship and situation demands for it?

Folks today have to understand that marriage is not just commitment; it’s a responsibility you have to understand, accept and abide…but all this can only happen when you want it and are ready for it. The reason why marriages fail now a days is because no one wants to be unhappy and lead a life written according to other peoples’ expectations and wants. Everyone has now developed a sense of judgment and they know what they want, how they want it and why they want?

Marriage is serious and a full time job. Just like there are loads of other jobs you cannot do or you are not entirely fit for marriage too. We have to make informed choices in life because its 75% of our lives we are talking about. Why stake it where there is unsurity lurking at the back of your head? Today everyone is more educated, exposed and realistic. If they know they can get happiness elsewhere they will and adultery will only complicate matter further. Then why go through all this in the first place?
Couples should only marry when they are 100% sure that this is what they want and can abide by all the definitions till the end. There is no use shirking it in between or running away because you suddenly feel you don’t need it! Understand that’s it’s difficult for him and her. Marriages should be only chosen when the strings attached are not going to take away your meaning from life and you can still be the same after you are in it too.

There should not be any give ups and marriage should be looked at rather dealt with like a dish. You cook it...add spices and garnish it…and cook only till you need lest it becomes so bad that you regret even having tried it. You cannot undercook it because it will be so tasteless and lifeless that no matter how much ever you try to add stuff you will never get the perfect taste. You will always have to be ready to add and subtract ingredients and experiment while cooking as the surprise element always works!

Let’s just end by saying…try cooking together…now we don’t want to know what you are cooking!!! Do we?